Top 10
by Bekki
Summary: Complete!  Have you ever written something you thought nobody would ever read? Take it from Sam and Jack, secrets always come back to bite you in the mikta! SJ
1. Top 10 Reasons Why Carter is Amazing

TOP 10

Summary: Top 10 reasons why Carter is amazing. J/S

A/N: Just a bit of fun. Please read and review!

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To be completely honest, the only reason I am writing this is because I like the sound of laptop keyboards. The feel of them too. They make you think you are typing a lot faster than you really are. Maybe you do type faster than usual. I'll never know. Ask Carter, she could tell you the answer.

That, and I am trying to up my words per minute so that I can beat Daniel at his little typing competition. That damned space monkey beats me at every thing.

So, here it goes.

**Top 10 reasons why Carter is amazing**

(and yes, I will be deleting this the moment it is finished)

**10. She's damn hot**

**9. She's smart**

**8. Scratch that – Lisa Simpson is smart. Carter is a freaking genius**

**7. She's funny. Every now and then. When you least expect it, you know**

**6. Those eyes. No explanation needed.**

**5. She is always there. Even when you wish she wasn't. She just knows when she is needed. Like Superman…**

**4. She makes a P-90 look hot. Feminine even**

**3. She's got a killer attitude when she wants to. A cheeky streak. I still haven't quite figured out how to push those exact buttons. But I will**

**2. She doesn't need to talk. Sometimes you just know that she knows how you feel, or understands, or whatever. Then again, sometimes she doesn't know when to stop talking. Freaking technobabble.**

Crap, there's a knock at the door. It's Carter. Where the hell is that honkin' delete button?

…

**1. She's saved me. I really think she has saved me.**

_fin_


	2. Top 10 Reasons Why Jack is infuriating

A/N: This takes place in the aftermath of "Paradise Lost", from Sam's POV

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She stormed from the debriefing, headed straight to her lab and slammed the door. She wasn't even sure why she was so angry. The mission had gone well, they had rescued him on time and he was back in good health. She had thought the news would finally allow her to calm down and relax, but she was wrong. She had gone too far, trying to bring him home and she knew it. It hadn't been mentioned in the debriefing, but she was sure that there would be questions asked about her behaviour in the days before they found him. Questions she couldn't answer properly without the need for a court martial. How could she have let her feelings go this far? She had tried to stop it all before it could affect her work, and she was sure that she had succeeded in doing just that, but now she knew that it was more than she had been letting herself believe. And he didn't even know. He sat in that briefing room, glad to be home, thankful to home, but not at all understanding what had happened while he had been gone. She could be court martialled any day now, after her displays of stubbornness, childishness and insubordination. And it was all his fault, she was sure of it. It was always his fault, in some way or another. She sat down at her computer and typed, taking her anger out on the poor innocent keyboard. She knew she was being childish, but Daniel had always said that writing helped to calm _him_ down after an intense mission. She would just have to see if the same thing helped her as much.

**Top 10 Reasons why Jack O'Neill is so infuriating!**

**10. He's an arrogant ass**

**9. That smirk. He's got a different smirk for every occasion. And each one of them makes me want to slap his face till those smirky little lips fall right off**

**8. He cheats himself out of things. He plays the "Dumb Card" even when he knows exactly what you are talking about. **

**7. He complains about everything. His age, his job, the state of his office, his bad knees, the Goa'uld language, the Goa'uld themselves, Daniel, his uniform, the lack of beer in our provisions, the weather, you name it! **

**6. He always wants to shoot first and ask questions later. Now, I know that it's his prerogative, being the leader and the "military" one of the team, but I'm in the air force too, for cryin' out loud. And you don't see me wanting to nuke every living thing that may or may not have a snake hiding in it.**

**5. His damned sayings! I had a clean mouth before I met that man. And now we're all stuck saying "for cryin' out loud" in every situation. Even Teal'c. And yet I haven't heard Mr Eloquent pick up any of our idiosyncrasies. Never once have I heard "Holy Hannah" or "Indeed" spring from his mouth**

**4. The jokes! Sure, sometimes it's nice to have a break from the seriousness of the job, but he cracks jokes at the most inappropriate times! **

**3. He never writes mission reports on time. He doesn't think we notice, but you actually see the game of solitaire up on his screen while he is supposed to be typing a report. And he thinks we're oblivious!**

**2. He understates everything. His triumphs, his battles, the risks we take every single day. He said "Thank you," when we brought him home. That was it. Didn't he know? Didn't he realise how much was at stake? How I nearly gave myself away, trying to bring him home? **

…**How close we were to losing him again?**

She banged her head on the table and cried. She didn't even know where the tears were coming from or why they were spilling at all. She didn't try to sit back up properly, or wipe the tears from her eyes. It was cathartic, this moment of weakness. Like the one she had shared with Teal'c before they had found him. Why wasn't she happy to have found him? Why was she still angry and miserable? They had found him, hadn't they? She had brought him home. But she couldn't stop the tears that flowed onto her keyboard. The tears for her anger. For her frustration. For the happiness of bringing him home. For the emptiness of his thanks in her ears. For the coldness of her arms that longed to hold him when he returned. For the sweat, blood and love that had brought him home to her, but never for her.

"Major Carter?" came a voice from the opened door. It was Teal'c.

"Hi Teal'c," she said, sheepishly wiping away the tears from her face. "I didn't hear you open the door."

Teal'c studied her face, but made no movement to enter the room. "Are you well?" he asked.

Sam nodded, with enough good grace to chuckle softly at herself as she wiped her face. "Just sorting a few things out," she said. Teal'c bowed his head and left her to her somewhat more clamed thoughts.

**1. Even when I am infuriated with him, I can't get him out of my head. That man will surely be the end of me.**


	3. Top 10 Reasons Never to Trust Computers

A/N: As you can see, I have decided to extend this drabble into a story. Thank you to everyone who suggested this! It's all for you

Please review

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"Come in, Major."

Sam stood at attention in the office of General George Hammond. Her stance was strong and confident, hiding the slight unease the Major was feeling. She did not know exactly why she had been sent for, which was both a blessing and a curse. Had she done something obviously untoward, she would at least know why she had been sent for. As it was, she only had her suspicions, some of which included minor offences such as the unauthorised use and accidental destruction of base materials in her latest experiments; other suspicions included offences that were harder to prove, but far more detrimental if in fact, proved. Her recent behaviour towards several base personnel and its reasons being on top of that list.

She didn't even know that she was in trouble at all. She may have been called for in order to receive a special award for excellence in astrophysics for all she knew, but she was wiser than to assume such things. The look on General Hammond's face alone told her that she was not about to become the subject of a celebration.

"At ease," the General ordered and Sam relaxed her stance. "Take a seat, Major," he continued and Sam sat obediently in the seat opposite Hammond.

"Major, are you unhappy with your position on SG-1?" he asked, uncertainly. Sam blinked, shocked. Of all the things she had expected to come out of the General's mouth, she had not expected that.

"Of course not, sir," she replied, concerned.

"I had hoped not," continued Hammond. "However, it has come to my attention that a rift is present in the team. For how long it has been there, I'm not sure, but I'm surprised you haven't brought it to my attention earlier."

Sam said nothing. She hardly knew what General Hammond was talking about. A rift in the team? Sure, Jack and Jonas occasionally had a few issues, but nothing that could constitute a _rift_ in their team.

"Sir, I don't think there's anything _wrong _with SG-1," she replied, tentatively. "In fact, I'm sure there isn't. Our team continues to work at maximum efficiency," she added with a fierce pride.

"I thought you'd say something of that sort, Major. But I am referring directly to Colonel O'Neill and yourself."

Silence struck Sam once again.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Are you dissatisfied with the Colonel's leadership abilities?" he asked, his eyes piercing her own. She felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

"No sir."

"His behaviour as a commanding officer?"

"No sir."

General Hammond nodded, an obvious frown etched on his drawn face. "I see," he said. "Then I assume this is something personal," he said, disappointedly.

"Sir, I don't understand what you're talking about. I respect Colonel O'Neill and the office he keeps," she said, racing to get the words out.

What had General Hammond meant, _something personal_? Surely she wasn't about to be reprimanded because of her relationship with the Colonel. Despite the base gossip, her relationship with her CO was strictly platonic. She was sure she hadn't let the cat out of the bag. She hoped she hadn't. If General Hammond knew her real feelings for Colonel O'Neill she was sure to…

Sure to be summoned for a meeting with him in his office. Which she had been.

"It's good to hear, Major," Hammond said, pulling her out of her thoughts. "But that still doesn't explain the problems you seem to be having on a personal level."

Sam swallowed heavily.

"Do you find Colonel O'Neill to be arrogant?" he asked.

Sam furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Maybe this wasn't about what she thought it was, after all.

"No sir," she said.

"Lewd?"

"No sir."

"Trigger happy?"

"Well, yes sir. But that's what he's got Daniel for. I mean, Jonas," she corrected with a pang of guilt. "And myself, sir."

"You don't have a problem with his military focus?"

"No sir."

"Do you find him to be overly sullen? Lazy? Complaining?"

"Not overly, sir."

General Hammond sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Sir, may I ask what the point of this enquiry is?" Sam asked.

Hammond nodded.

"Three days ago there was a minor base emergency," he started.

"Yes sir, SG-3 was injured off-world…"

"While manning the gate, that's correct," the General finished. "Do you recall where you were at that time, Major?" he asked.

"I went straight to the infirmary, sir," Sam answered.

"And before that, Major?"

"I was…in my lab, typing up reports, sir," she finished.

General Hammond sighed again and picked up a file on his desk. "You didn't close one, Major. Sergeant Freeman found it open on your desk top," he said, in what almost sounded like an apologetic voice.

"I sent Freeman to get one of the reports. I thought it could help Dr Frasier."

"Yes, and I'm sure it did, Major. However, Sergeant Freeman came across this one," he said and handed her the file. She took it curiously and opened the manila folder.

_Top 10 Reasons why Jack O'Neill is so infuriating!_

_10. He's an arrogant ass_

Sam stopped reading and closed the file, her face kept determinedly focussed on the desk in front of her.

"Sergeant Freeman was naturally worried and brought the file to my attention."

"Right sir," was all Sam could say.

General Hammond watched her in silence, hoping she might add something that might explain what she had written.

"I have, for the moment, decided to keep this off the record," he said, and Sam looked up at him briefly. "I have asked Sergeant Freeman to forget what he saw and he agreed that it would be his best course of action."

Sam nodded and looked back down at the desk.

"I want to know what your course of action will be," he said.

Sam met his eyes again, and instantly wished she hadn't.

"I would suggest you talk this over with Colonel O'Neill. Now that a third party has been privy to your personal opinions about him, he should at least hear your issues first hand."

"Sir, with respect…"

"My pardons Major, if I didn't make myself clear. I _highly _suggest you talk to Colonel O'Neill."

Sam nodded, knowing this to be a direct order and quietly excused herself from General Hammond's office, feeling both relieved and ashamed.

As he watched her leave, Hammond smiled as he remembered a somewhat similar conversation he had with another officer, only a year before.

* * *

"_Jack, you have, I take it, some knowledge of computers?" he had asked Colonel O'Neill._

"_A little sir. I know where the ON button is," Jack answered with a smirk. He pointed unnecessarily at General Hammond's laptop._

"_Glad to hear it, son. What about memory?"_

"_Computer memory?"_

"_Of course, computer memory."_

"_Sure. You save something, the computer stores it. Simple." He said, crossing his legs._

"_One would think so," George continued, trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "And when you want to delete a file?"_

"_Delete it. That's all I do."_

"_Yes, I have come to that conclusion," he said, forcing himself not to roll his eyes._

"_Sir, you know I love talking 'shop, but if you've got a question you should really ask Carter. I mean, she _is _the computer geek around here. I'm just for show."_

_General Hammond internally winced. "Unfortunately for you Colonel, I need your help with this one. And I don't think involving Major Carter would be a great idea."_

"_Sir?"_

"_Yesterday, we rebooted all base computers."_

"_I know. Something about Siler blowing a mega-fuse, right?" Jack asked, waving his hand, dismissively. _

"_Slightly more complicated than that, but yes. In order to retain all the information that was damaged, all data had to be retrieved from the computers. Including data that had already been sent to the Recycle Bin," he added pointedly. _

"_Ok. Which clearly proves that you know more about computers than me, sir."_

"_Sergeant Harriman explained it to me," George said, offhandedly. "What he also told me, was that he found a file on your console that he thought I should see."_

"_Sir, I promise you. I only write Simpsons Fanfiction to improve my Mission Report style," Jack replied earnestly. George didn't even chuckle. He took a file off his desk. _

"_Not quite fiction, I think Jack," he said and handed him the folder._

_**Top 10 reasons why Carter is amazing**_

_**10. She's damn hot**_

_**9. She's smart**_

_**8. Scratch that – Lisa Simpson is smart. Carter is a freaking genius**_

_**7. She's funny. Every now and then. When you least expect it, you know**_

_**6. Those eyes. No explanation needed.**_

_**5. She is always there. Even when you wish she wasn't. She just knows when she is needed. Like Superman…**_

_**4. She makes a P-90 look hot. Feminine even**_

_**3. She's got a killer attitude when she wants to. A cheeky streak. I still haven't quite figured out how to push those exact buttons. But I will**_

_**2. She doesn't need to talk. Sometimes you just know that she knows how you feel, or understands, or whatever. Then again, sometimes she doesn't know when to stop talking. Freaking technobabble.**_

_**1. She's saved me. I really think she has saved me.**_

_Jack stopped reading after the first point. That on its own was enough to warrant a court martial._

"_I see you appreciate my position," Hammond said dryly, noting the horrified look on the younger man's face. "I have decided that the best course of action is to keep this off the records. Walter has agreed. I suggest you do the same," he said and stood up, actively dismissing the Colonel._

"_So, I take it I'm not…"_

"_Reprimanding you for this wont do anyone any good, Jack. I'd have to put it on your record, launch an enquiry and most probably reassign both you and the Major. Sam doesn't need that and I don't think it's in anyone's best interests to split up Earth's best hope for survival," he said and watched as Jack's nervous face eased into a polite smirk. _

"_But believe me, Jack; I'll be watching you like a hawk from now on."_

_Jack nodded and dismissed himself._

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_­­­_

George let a smirk tug at his lips. If only he could have seen this come from the beginning…

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_So what did you think? Please let me know! _


	4. Top 10 Reasons to Plan Confrontations

A/N: Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed this story. It's because of you that Top 10 has continued!

Hope you enjoy

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"Hey Carter!"

Sam tried to return the smile of her C.O as she stood at his office door, but found herself feeling strangely numb. She mentally clobbered herself over the head for the umpteenth time. How could she have been so stupid as to leave a ridiculously immature and damning document on her computer for anyone to see? It was ill-befitting of an officer. She was a captain in the United States Air force, not some angsty teen.

"You coming in?" Jack asked, when she had not moved. Sam subdued the blush that was threatening to break out on her face and attempted a smile.

"Thank you sir," she said and entered his office, all too aware of how awkwardly her body was responding to her commands.

"Whatcha got?" Jack asked, pointing to the file in her hands. She took a deep breath in and clenched the folder harder in her hands. A wave of different scenarios crashed through her head as she tried to decide the best course of action. The best that she could hope for was that Colonel O'Neill would understand, laugh it off and tell her to be more careful. The logical side of her brain knew that this was probably the more likely scenario. Her illogical brain, her emotive brain was concocting far more hideous scenarios, involving possible screaming matches, court martials or even sordid affairs right on top of her C.O's desk. Subconsciously she met the Colonel's eyes, and an irrational part of her brain thought for a millisecond that she was thinking aloud. A blush stole over her entire face. She pushed that last thought far from her mind, and, no longer knowing what to do with herself, thrust the file into her C.O's hands.

He looked at her strangely for a second, as if trying to make some sense of her uncharacteristic awkwardness and sat down. He opened the manila folder and began to read.

Sam watched as Jack's eyebrows raised in surprise as he read the title. She fidgeted with sides of her pants as she watched him frown as he read. He mustn't have even passed number 6 when he put the file down and looked up at her. She grimaced back.

"Arrogant ass?" he asked incredulously, looking back at the piece of paper to make sure he had not misread it.

"I probably should have explained first," Sam said quickly, feeling both embarrassed and slightly amused.

"That might have been nice," Jack agreed sarcastically and crossed his arms.

"Well sir," Sam began with a deep breath, "While you and Maybourne were trapped on the moon of P9X-742, some of us back here started to get a little…edgy," she said, deciding it wasn't best to confess that it was her alone who had started to get a hell of a lot worse than _edgy_.

"So I heard," said Jack, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Oh?," Sam asked, unable to help how squeaky her voice had sounded.

Jack nodded. "There's a whole gaggle of SFs in the control room still avoiding you," he said, knowingly.

"Oh," Sam repeated. Jack grinned. "Well," she continued, "After you got back, I assumed things would just go back to normal…but…" she stammered, gesturing to the file in Jack's hand.

"But…Mr Hyde decided to extend his stay?" Jack asked.

"Yes sir," said Sam, feel both ashamed and a little ticked off at how amusing her C.O seemed to find the whole situation.

"So you thought you'd take your anger out on little old me?"

"Yes sir. Sorry sir," she said. Jack waved off her apology.

"I take it we've got Dr Jekyll back?" he asked.

"Yes sir," Sam assured, with a slight roll of her eyes. Jack grinned again.

"Good," he said. He opened the file for another look. He shook his head and closed it again. "Why are you even showing this to me?"

"General Hammond found it," she said, and watched as Jack's eyebrows ascended up his forehead. "He _suggested _that I sort out whatever issues I had with you," she said.

"Suggested?" Jack asked, the humour evident in his voice.

"Strongly," she added with a grin of her own, feeling more relaxed about how easily Jack was responding. He nodded back.

"So have you sorted out all your issues with me?" he asked.

"Hardly," she said with a scoff before she even realised it had come out of her mouth. The atmosphere in the room changed at once. She looked back at Jack, whose eyebrows were furrowed once more.

"Ok," he said, after a moment of silence. "Take a seat," he said, thoughtfully. She was painfully reminded of their run-in with Quantum Mirror and how he had offered to listen to her. She had only been half-joking that time, too.

"Uh, that isn't necessary, sir," Sam stammered, trying not to look at him too much.

"You sure?" he asked, and Sam had to wonder at how he was so ready for her to open up to him. But she couldn't. Surely he didn't know what he was offering. She shook her head and headed for the door, feeling she had said all she could say. She felt his eyes on her the whole way out. Something stopped her. She turned back to face him

"I was so afraid."

She looked into his eyes and saw in an instant that she was safe to continue. He was there as a friend now, not a commanding officer.

"I thought we were going to lose you. We already lost Daniel and I…_I _couldn't…" She found she didn't quite have the words to show what she meant. "I thought _I _was going to lose you," she finished, willing him to understand, but knowing he shouldn't.

"You didn't," he said, quietly, and she knew that he had understood. She nodded, realizing that that was as far as the conversation could go. She watched in silence as he put the file into the bottom drawer of his desk. She smiled, knowing he meant to keep it quiet until she was ready to open up to him. She was sure he knew that there was not much of a chance of that, but was both bewildered and comforted to know that he would be there for her if she did.

"Thank you sir," she said, just as quietly and dismissed herself.

"Oh, and Carter," Jack beckoned. Sam turned around again and met his eyes. They were twinkling with amusement again. "Try to be a bit more careful with your computer next time," he said and passed her back the file from his drawer. She returned his grin with an embarrassed one of her own and left his office.

Sam leaned against the closed door of Jack's office and shook her head. Of all the stupid things she had done in her life…

She looked at the folder in her hands with a sigh. Of course Jack wouldn't have judged her for this. She smiled at how ridiculously her imagination had run away with her. She opened the file for one last look at the list within.

She read the title and frowned, her stomach twisting in shock.

_Top 10 Reasons Why Carter is Amazing_

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So what did you think? Did Jack mean to give her that file or was it a mistake? What will Sam do about it?

Feel free to speculate, criticize, or comment by clicking the fabulous REVIEW button. I would love to hear what you think


	5. Top 10 Reasons to Read

A/N: This chapter was orginally going to be a lot longer, but I decided to split it up, seeing as how long it turned out. The next chapter should be up in the not too distant future!

Thanks for your reviews! I absolutely love hearing about where you think or would like the story to go!

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Sam sat in her lab, where she had been for at least the last hour. She had rushed there, pink faced, from Colonel O'Neill's office. She again read the list that he had given to her. That he had written for her. About her.

**Top 10 reasons why Carter is amazing**

**10. She's damn hot**

She blushed. Men didn't comment to her about her looks all that often. She never liked it when they did. It had always made her uncomfortable, being in the position she was. She was a scientist and a Flygirl. Not the most feminine personas, and together, possibly the least. A small part of her had envied feminine women for a long time, and she hated men thinking, or telling her that she was just as feminine. She knew it wasn't true, and the scientist and Flygirl in her had never really wanted it to be. The fact the Jack O'Neill thought it was true however, was another story entirely.

**9. She's smart**

She rolled her eyes. Of course he would have written that.

**8. Scratch that – Lisa Simpson is smart. Carter is a freaking genius**

She stifled a giggle. Now _that_ was more like Colonel O'Neill.

**7. She's funny. Every now and then. When you least expect it, you know**

She laughed. He had written it like it was a great anomaly. Which she supposed it was. When she was younger she was the number one commedian in the family, hands down. But since she joined the military, she had lost a lot of that character. She never quite understood where it had gone or why, but she could never bring herself do be the funny kid she once was. SG-1 had helped her change that over the years. She found it far easier to be herself with them, her true self and for that she was eternally grateful. She was beginning to remember what it was like to be Sam Carter, not Major or Doctor.

**6. Those eyes. No explanation needed.**

She traced her eyelids with her finger. She had always liked her eyes. She looked at her reflection in the metal of her microscope and smiled. She had always believed that the eyes were the windows to the soul. Jack's eyes too. They were a warm brown, the kind of eyes you could get lost in. The eyes she often _did _get lost in. Windows to the very soul she longed to get lost in.

**5. She is always there. Even when you wish she wasn't. She just knows when she is needed. Like Superman…**

She shook her head. Trust Jack O'Neill to compare her to Lisa Simpson and Superman.

**4. She makes a P-90 look hot. Feminine even**

She almost choked the first time she read that one. She made a P-90 look feminine? How could _anyone _make a P-90 look feminine? That was always when she felt her least womanly, packing heat in a set of BDUs. She was both embarrassed and delighted.

**3. She's got a killer attitude when she wants to. A cheeky streak. I still haven't quite figured out how to push those exact buttons. But I will**

She smirked and made a mental note to bring out her cheeky side more often. So he wanted to push those buttons, did he?

**2. She doesn't need to talk. Sometimes you just know that she knows how you feel, or understands, or whatever. Then again, sometimes she doesn't know when to stop talking. Freaking technobabble.**

She was reminded of their last conversation. Most of what they had said hadn't been communicated with their words. They had said so much more than what they had physically _said._ She understood this point. It was one of the things she loved most about Jack. He was always there in some way, usually in a way that spoke louder than the words that he wasn't allowed to say.

She reread the point and giggled. _Freaking Technobabble. _He loved her science-talk and she knew it.

**1. She's saved me. I really think she has saved me.**

She didn't quite know what to do with herself when she read that one. Saved him from what? How? It was a sobering thought. She swallowed and breathed deeply to stop her emotions getting the better of her. He was being serious this time, not making an observation or a joke. He really thought she had saved him. From what? Himself? She wished she knew.

* * *

Jack sat at his desk and pulled out the file he had stowed there. He wondered if he had done the right thing, giving her the list he had written. He hadn't looked at it in a long time and hoped to god that he hadn't written anything too untoward. He supposed not. If he had, he would have been in a lot more trouble than he was when it had been discovered.

Had she read it yet? He smiled, hoping she had. He could picture her face as she read the list. He knew she never saw herself as an overly attractive woman. How wrong she was.

He opened the file she had given him and looked it up and down with a sigh. Had she really been that angry? That distraught without him? He reread the list, properly this time.

**Top 10 Reasons why Jack O'Neill is so infuriating!**

**10. He's an arrogant ass**

He grinned, remembering the look on her face when he had read that point aloud. She had looked horrified. He knew that she really found his arrogance amusing, and only rarely did it actually infuriate her.

**9. That smirk. He's got a different smirk for every occasion. And each one of them makes me want to slap his face till those smirky little lips fall right off**

He knew she had meant that one. Even if she hadn't meant it completely seriously. She often scowled at him when he smirked at her, which only ever made him smirk more and her either bite back or lose it. He liked it when she lost it. It usually meant she would shake her head and smirk herself, or even giggle. She had a great laugh.

**8. He cheats himself out of things. He plays the "Dumb Card" even when he knows exactly what you are talking about. **

He furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't know she noticed. More often than not, _he_ didn't even notice. Being the 'dumb one' was part of who he was, who he had always been. He never thought he had cheated himself out of things, but he could understand why Carter had thought so. Logic and knowledge was every thing to her. The fact that he never asserted himself in that way, even when he could have, annoyed her. As for playing the "dumb card" even when he knew what she was talking about? He just liked hearing her talk. Even if it did mean listening to technobabble for a good ten minutes. _Especially _if it meant that. He loved how her eyes lit up every time she explained something, how animated she became when she was figuring something out. And he was always allowed to watch her. Just sit and watch as she did what she loved to do. To be honest, it was one of his favourite parts of the job, watching her shine. Even if he did pretend to be bored out of his brain.

**7. He complains about everything. His age, his job, the state of his office, his bad knees, the Goa'uld language, the Goa'uld themselves, Daniel, his uniform, the lack of beer in our provisions, the weather, you name it! **

He laughed. It was a tradition he and Daniel had started. They both tried to out-complain each other. Jack always won. Daniel only ever really complained about Jack, whereas Jack could complain till the sun set. He knew it was a tradition that Carter had hated. She was a military brat, born and bred to accept her duty and her fate with a ready hand and a "yes sir." She had always found his complaining irritating and unnecessary, and he had always found it ironic that the only thing she ever complained about was his complaining. It was a great source of amusement for himself and Daniel, who liked to goad her about it at any possible moment. He sighed, knowing how it must be less amusing to her now that Daniel was gone. It was far less amusing for him. Now his complaints remained unchallenged and made him feel sulky and grumpy without Daniel there to goad him on.

**6. He always wants to shoot first and ask questions later. Now, I know that it's his prerogative, being the leader and the "military" one of the team, but I'm in the air force too, for cryin' out loud. And you don't see me wanting to nuke every living thing that may or may not have a snake hiding in it.**

Carter was being completely serious with this point. He knew she, like Daniel and probably Jonas too, thought that they could talk their way through anything. Carter was less of a martyr than Daniel had ever been, but he knew that she liked to cover all other options before resorting to military action. She was a scientist, after all.

**5. His damned sayings! I had a clean mouth before I met that man. And now we're all stuck saying "for cryin' out loud" in every situation. Even Teal'c. And yet I haven't heard Mr Eloquent pick up any of our idiosyncrasies. Never once have I heard "Holy Hannah" or "Indeed" spring from his mouth**

He grinned. He had, on a few occasions, caught her saying "for cryin' out loud". He loved it when she did. He made a mental note to start using her sayings, even if only to piss her off.

**4. The jokes! Sure, sometimes it's nice to have a break from the seriousness of the job, but he cracks jokes at the most inappropriate times! **

Ah, now he _knew _that she wasn't being completely honest in this point. She loved his jokes, whether she shook her head and scowled at them or not. It was half the reason he said them in the first place.

**3. He never writes mission reports on time. He doesn't think we notice, but you actually see the game of solitaire up on his screen while he is supposed to be typing a report. And he thinks we're oblivious!**

He smirked to himself sheepishly. Of course she would have known. He shrugged. At least Hammond didn't know.

**2. He understates everything. His triumphs, his battles, the risks we take every single day. He said "Thank you," when we brought him home. That was it. Didn't he know? Didn't he realise how much was at stake? How I nearly gave myself away, trying to bring him home? **

…**How close we were to losing him again?**

He wasn't sure what to think about this point. Did he know how much had been at stake? Of course he had, he was the one out there, trying to stay alive. For the first time since he had first picked up the list, he began to feel angry. Of course he understood! He was the one living it, for crying out loud. He reread the point. That wasn't what she had meant. She thought she had given herself away. How? Given away her feelings for him? His stomach lurched into his shoulders. He would have to talk to Teal'c or Jonas about this one. What had she done? He bit the inside of his mouth. If only Daniel were still here. He could talk to Daniel about it without feeling like he was betraying her.

**1. Even when I am infuriated with him, I can't get him out of my head. That man will surely be the end of me.**

He smiled. She loved him. That was enough for him.


	6. Top 10 Reasons to Avoid your CO

A/N: Strangely enough, this story appears to be taking a serious turn. For all of those who were looking forward to more fluff, there will be a handful of very nice moments in the next chapter, but know that there will also be some angst to come.

Thank you again for all your great reviews! Please continue to send your thoughts, ideas for the story and comments.

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

It was hard to think, in amongst all the excitement of the last few days, that the SGC was still functioning smoothly. Jack had never been quite so distracted from base operations as he had been the last few days, spending most of his spare moments either reading the list that Carter had made him, thinking about the list he had made Carter, or just plain thinking about Carter. However, much as he hated the return to routine, there was work to be done.

Jack glanced at the other three members of SG-1 across the briefing room table. Jonas, as always looked ready and reared to go, even though they were only being briefed for a simple recon mission. Teal'c remained stoic as usual, but Jack could tell behind those dark eyes that Teal'c was really kel'no'reeming with his eyes open. Carter looked mildly interested in what General Hammond was talking about, but she too looked distant, as though she was thinking about something else. Her gaze met Jack's and in an instant, he discovered what she had been thinking about. After meeting his eye, she turned back to General Hammond quickly. Jack couldn't help but smirk. He too turned his attention back to the briefing at hand, but couldn't help the fact that his mind wanted to wander far away from the briefing room.

He thought about the last time he had gone fishing in Minnesota. It had been too long ago. That was one of the obvious downsides of this job; he could, at any time, be pulled away from whatever he was doing no matter where he was. Two of his last fishing trips had ended up being delayed because of some emergency or other. Maybe he would invite Jonas on his next trip. The Kelownan man was beginning to grow on him, and as much as he would rather have taken Daniel, he did like the young alien and knew that he would at least have a companion he was as excited at the prospect of fishing as he was. Jonas was excited by anything Earth-related.

"Are there any questions?"

Crap, Jack had barely listened to a word Hammond had said. He would have to read the briefing before they left. Or just get Carter to explain it to him. He was fairly sure that she could recite the whole briefing verbatim if he asked her to. She had a kooky memory like that.

Jack noticed George's eyes on him and he gave what he hoped was an affirmative smirk. George squinted at him he swallowed heavily.

"You have a go," he said to the team. "Be ready to leave at 09:00."

George stood up and SG-1 followed him, filing out of the General's office.

"Colonel O'Neill, if you could stay behind please," he said, just before Sam had exited the room. She shot a quick look at Jack, who nodded and stayed behind to talk to General Hammond.

"What's up, sir?" Jack asked, although he had a faint idea of what he was about to be in for.

"I assume that Major Carter has already spoken to you, Colonel?" he asked.

"Yes sir," Jack replied. Of course that was what this was all about.

"And?" asked George.

"And…I don't think it needs be taken any further than that, sir," he said, unsure of what the General was asking him.

George raised an almost Teal'c-like eyebrow.

"I feel no need to make this official, sir. It was a mistake," he said firmly.

"Good to hear," General Hammond said, sitting down. "Have a seat, Colonel," he said, gesturing to the chair opposite him.

Jack smiled politely and sat down. _Have a seat?_ There was more to this little meeting?

"Have you spoken to Major Carter about her actions while you were missing on P9X-742?"

"Not really, sir. I've been told she had a little Jekyll and Hyde moment," he said. "But she assures me that it won't happen again sir," he added defensively.

"Yes, I'm sure she has," he concurred. There was a moment of silence during which Jack found it hard not to squirm in his seat. Hammond knew that she had said something to him. But it had been personal, not official. With a sigh Jack decided that his commanding officer ought to at least have some insight into the situation.

"She said that she thought it was going to be like Daniel dying all over again sir, and well, you understand…" he trailed off.

"Of course," said George, understandingly. "No one wants that to happen again."

"No sir," Jack agreed.

"It's been hard for the three of you. Don't think I don't understand that," George said, kindly. "You need to grieve and unfortunately the world can't wait for you."

Jack nodded. He understood. However, that didn't really help matters.

"I think it would be best if SG-1 had some down time. I'll see what I can do to reschedule some of your upcoming missions."

"Thank you sir," Jack said. Maybe he would get that fishing trip in after all.

Even though that conversation line had been resolved, George's eyes still pierced through Jack's, as though he could extract everything he wanted to know with one look.

"Jack..." he started, obviously having no where to go. Jack stared back at him, thinking he knew exactly where George was trying not to go. "I know you care about Major Carter."

"Yes sir." Jack said simply. George's stern look softened into one of surprise. He said nothing for a long moment.

"You know, there was a time when you would try and deny that."

Jack nodded. He had taken even himself by surprise. He was ready to shoot something back like he usually did. _She's an important part of the team, sir. _Or _I care about all of SG-1, sir._ But he didn't. He wondered why. Perhaps the last few days had actually changed something in him. Made him realize just how much she had meant to him. Or him to her. Or something.

"Carter and I both know our places, sir," He said.

"I know you do," George answered, his respect for the younger man increasing with every word. "I'm sorry I can't…" he stopped. Anything he could have said would be mundane and unhelpful. "You're a good officer, Jack. And a strong man."

Jack smirked. "All part of the job description, sir," he answered and picked up the briefing file. "Well, sorry to chat and run, but SG-1 leaves for P7X-195 in 20 minutes, sir," he said, glad to be relieving himself from this somewhat depressing conversation.

"Of course, Colonel," said George, standing up. "Dismissed."

George watched as Jack made his way to the door.

"Jack," he called out in concern. Jack turned around. "Just…be careful," he said.

"It's a standard recon mission, sir," he said.

But Jack knew what the general had really meant.

* * *

_And thus the base goes back to usual operations. Will Sam and Jack be able to keep their unresolved issues at bay while they are off-world? Despite Jack's assurances, will the 'Top 10' lists end up causing long term problems?_

_ Stay tuned (and leave a long review) to find out!!!_

_Have a super smiley day,_

_ Bekki_


	7. Top 10 Reasons to Watch your Six

Sam couldn't sleep. She had finished her watch over two hours ago, but none of the usual tricks seemed to be helping. She had flexed all her muscles in turn in an attempt to relax her, she had hummed lullabies in her head and she had even tried meditating like Teal'c to see if it helped, but to no avail.

It had been such a long day that Sam was sure she would be able to sleep. They had been off-world for almost a whole day, which was close to thirty six hours on this planet. They had been in search of the Pol'kar, a creature of this world that had been detected on the MALP. According to the telemetry, these creatures were somewhat like those on the planet of the Nox, only it seemed that their power to appear and disappear at will was a power of their own, and not of another species altogether. They had been ordered to observe or capture one of these animals in order to better understand their physiology. Jonas and Sam had been quite interested in the animal's unique abilities, however Sam knew that if it was Daniel, not Jonas, who was with them, they would have been caught in an ethical battle. Daniel would not want to have captured the beasts. He would have rathered SG-1 go into the villages to ask for histories and records that might shed light on the strange creatures, rather than capture the beasts against their will. Knowing this, Sam had suggested it herself, noticing the glint in her C.O's eyes that told her he knew her motives. He had said nothing though, and so SG-1 had done as she suggested.

In fact, Jack hadn't spoken to her much at all during the mission. They hadn't been ready to return to their usual banter and Sam was beginning to worry that perhaps they should have continued talking about this thing between them before they had gone off-world again. It was never good to be on a mission with someone that you were hiding something from. Sam needed Jack's complete trust on every mission and vice-versa; otherwise things could take a very downward turn if anything went wrong.

Still, if Jonas and Teal'c had noticed anything different about their team-mates, they hadn't mentioned it, so Sam had figured that this minor discomfort was in her head. However, the fact remained that it was now little over an hour until they would pack up their camp and begin searching for the Pol'kar again, and Sam had only had a few moments of good sleep.

She poked her head up above the sides of her makeshift bed and looked up to see the Colonel sitting on a nearby stump. Figuring it was his turn to guard the camp, she got up to sit with him. Maybe she would be able to get some sleep if she talked to him. Goodness only knew that the mission would be a lot easier if she had some finite closure on the events of the last few days.

"Hey Carter," Jack whispered as he noticed her coming towards him.

"Hi sir," she said and sat down next to him.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked, moving over so that she could fit comfortably.

"No sir," she said, feeling unnaturally shy.

"You sure you don't want to try and get some shut-eye?" he asked, his face etched with concern.

"No sir," she repeated, rubbing her eyes. "Do you want me to take over the watch?" she asked.

"No, only another hour to go."

Jack and Sam sat in a shy, yet somewhat comfortable silence. Sam felt an overwhelming urge to rest her head on her C.O's shoulder, but refrained.

"Seen any Pol'kar?" she asked, after a long moment.

"No," Jack replied. I'm beginning to think they don't even exist."

"They were on the MALP telemetry, sir," Sam said earnestly.

"Yeah, well maybe the ol' MALP's got an overactive imagination," Jack drawled. Sam giggled softly. Jack turned to chide her about it when he heard a twig crack. He darted off the stump, P-90 in hand, but returned moments later, empty handed.

"Must have been an animal or something," he said, sitting down.

"A Pol'kar?" Sam asked.

Jack shook his head. "Pol'kars fly. That twig was on the ground. Besides, I set up a perimeter alarm that will sound if anything taller than ten inches approaches the camp. Smart, huh?" he said with a boyish grin.

"Lisa Simpson smart, or Carter smart?" she teased with her own grin.

Jack said nothing, but Sam could see that he was still smiling. "You read it?" he asked quietly, conscious of the fact Teal'c and Jonas were not too far away. Sam nodded.

"Why did you give it to me?" she asked. So he _had _meant to give it to her. She had wondered if perhaps he had meant to give hers back to her, but picked up the wrong file.

"I saw yours. It was only fair," Jack answered with a shrug. It was more than that though. He had wanted her to know all of the things he thought about her, without having to cross the professional line that had kept them apart. It was pathetic and cowardly, and he knew it. He couldn't count the number of times he had wished that regulations didn't exist so he could waltz up to her and kiss her, but in truth, after so many years, those regulations had started to become more of a security blanket than an actual reason not to start a relationship.

Jack broke himself out of that train of thought and back to the list he had written her. He racked his brain to try and remember the other points he had made on his list. He was sure he had mentioned some things that could probably be taken insultingly, such as his comments on her looks, with and without a P-90. He looked over at the Major, and noticing that she was smiling quite sheepishly, stopped worrying.

"Thank you," she said, looking him in the eye. Jack noticed that the blues of Sam's eyes reflected against the planet's three moons like beacons and it was all he could do to keep his distance from her.

"You're welcome," he said, not turning away.

"You know, if any other man had written a woman a list like that, they'd just…get on with it, you know," she said with a melancholy smile. Jack nodded.

"Yeah, but if any other person had written _me_ a list like the one _you_ wrote, I'd probably never speak to them again."

Sam laughed.

"It's just the way it is, Sam," Jack said, more seriously. Sam smiled sadly at the use of her given name.

"If we were any other two people on Earth…" she began.

"I know. But we're not."

"We're not even on Earth," said Sam and it was Jack's turn to give a small chuckle.

"So that's the way it's always going to be?" Sam asked, butterflies swarming through her stomach.

Jack was somewhat startled at how defeated she sounded, how feeble. He threw all caution to the wind and put his arm around her. He was amazed at how readily she eased into his touch. She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed her on the forehead, not even realising what he was doing. She turned to face him again and he was once more hypnotised by her eyes. He edged closer to her and she brought her own face up to his. They looked at each other for a few moments, warnings raging through their minds, but steadily their faces continued to tilt closer until their noses were touching. Sam rubbed her face against Jack's cheek, feeling the rough stubble against her own, softer cheek. She took a deep breath in. She could smell him every where around her. She was drowning and knew that if she didn't stop, she would never be able to come up for air. Every brain cell in her head was screaming for her to stop, but every fibre in her body was egging her on. Her lips were dangerously close to his neck and she revelled in the thought of kissing him. She could feel his breath upon her own neck and shivered.

"Aaachooo!"

Sam was so startled that her head banged against Jack's and she gasped in pain. Jack turned around and saw Jonas, still asleep, rubbing his nose. If looks could kill, Jack's would have. Sam, still rubbing her forehead, took one look at her C.O and laughed.

"How's that for a cliché?" Jack grumbled, nursing his nose where Carter had bumped into it.

Sam silently thanked Jonas' interruption. She knew she was getting sucked in too far. She looked up at Jack and somehow felt less nervous. She once again placed her head on hill shoulder, but remained calm this time; relaxed. He rested his head on top of hers and together they waited for the sun to rise.

"This is nice," Sam said, looking out to the new morning sky.

"In a 'top of the morning', clichéd, Audrey-Hepburn-movie kind of way," Jack teased. Sam poked him in the ribs, but nestled her head further into his chest.

"Did you hear that?" Sam asked after a few moments. There was a rustle in the tress.

"Yeah," said Jack. "Not for the first time."

He picked up his P-90, and surveyed the immediate area. Sam crouched back to her gear and took out her own gun. She watched as Jack disabled the alarm system and followed him out of the camp perimeter. He hand signalled her to investigate to his left and she quickly disappeared behind a group of trees.

Jack quietly moved through the foliage, careful not to make to much noise. There could be a Pol'kar out here somewhere.

From somewhere very close, Jack heard a staff weapon fire.

Blood raced through his veins as he raced toward the source of the sound; to the direction he had sent Sam. As though answering to his very thoughts he heard the rapid fire of a P-90 and a scream.

"Major!" He yelled and picked up the pace. He could hear Teal'c and Jonas, the latter obviously scared awake, rushing towards him with their weapons. Jack continued to run to Sam at an unbelievable pace.

He ran directly into Teal'c.

"Sorry T," he said, absentmindedly.

"What has transpired?" Teal'c asked.

"I don't know," Jack said in a rushed voice. "Carter heard a sound and we went after it. Did you hear that staff blast?"

"Indeed. It emanated from this direction, O'Neill," Teal'c said, his face dark with concern. Without the need for words, Jack and Teal'c split up. Moments later, Jonas caught up with them, saying he had found no trace of Major Carter or any Jaffa.

After several minutes of searching, the three members of SG-1 met again in the camp.

"What did you find?" asked Jack, urgently.

"Remnants of a base camp about a mile away," said Jonas, just as hurriedly. "Four Jaffa, maybe five."

"The disturbance of the foliage around the camp appears to indicate that we were being watched," said Teal'c.

"Any sign of Carter?"

Jonas shook his head and Teal'c's face remained set. Fear pulsed through Jack's blood.

She was gone.

* * *

_Just to add some adventuring flavour to the story - a kidnapping! What did you think? REVIEW ME!!!_

_...and have a lovely day! _


	8. Top 10 Reasons to Negotiate

A/N: Welcome back! This chapter is dedicated to every one who has reviewed this story so far. I am enclosing a virtual Jack doll (or Sam doll) for every one of you! Enjoy

In all seriousness, thanks for sticking with me on this wild ride!

* * *

Sam blinked her eyes open. They were dry and scratchy and were filled with an unpleasant amount of dirt and mud. She lifted her hands to rub them, but found them tied in rope behind her back. What was going on? She turned her head to look around her and felt a dull pain that shot from her forehead down to the back of her neck. She groaned and lay still once more.

Trying not to move her head this time, she looked around her. She appeared to be in the middle of a hurried tent. There were off-white sheets above and around her, and she could see the armoured foot of a Jaffa standing outside. With a pang of fear, she remembered what had happened.

She had been sitting with Colonel O'Neill when they had a noise they had thought was a Pol'kar. Sam had taken off to find it when she had been hit unceremoniously in the head with a staff weapon. The hit had almost knocked her unconscious. She had tried to retreat but was met with staff weapon fire and had no choice but to shoot her way out. She had been unsuccessful however, and had been knocked off her feet by a blast that had sent a tree branch down on her head.

No wonder she felt like she was having a particularly bad hangover.

She could hear the Jaffa outside her tent talking. She shuffled her way across the dusty ground to get closer.

"We must contact Lord Ba'al," one of them said.

"We cannot. We have only captured one. Our orders were to retrieve them all."

"Do not worry. They will come for this one," another said.

"Lord Ba'al said to contact him when we had captured them."

"Yes, captured them all. Not one female."

"You saw them in their camp, Rish'nall. She and the leader are mates. He will come for her."

Sam grimaced. Of all her fears about her feelings for Jack, this was one of the worst. That the enemy would find out and use it against them.

"That is why we must contact Ba'al," the first Jaffa repeated. "He will want to know of this development."

"He is a God, Vel'shak. He will already know."

"I am contacting him," the first one named Vel'shak decided. "Lord Ba'al."

"You have captured them?" came the voice of the Goa'uld. A lump formed in Sam's throat. She craned her neck to see what was happening. Vel'shak held a Goa'uld communication ball in his hand. Sam sighed silently in relief. At least it meant that Ba'al was a significant distance away.

Jack restlessly followed Teal'c as he tracked the Jaffa. Every now and then the ex-first prime would kneel on the ground to trace a footprint or examine a broken twig.

"These Jaffa are poorly trained," he said picking up another clue to their whereabouts.

"Either that or in a really big hurry," said Jonas brightly although Jack could see that his face was creased with concern.

"Or…" Jack drawled.

"It could be a trap," Teal'c finished.

"Yeah, that," Jack agreed lamely.

"So what now?" asked Jonas. "Do we keep looking or…I mean, if it's a trap, surely they want us to be following."

"We keep looking," said Jack, finitely. "If you're right and there's only a few Jaffa, we can take them in a fire fight if we need to."

"Do we want to?" asked Jonas.

"Preferably not," said Jack, patronizingly. Jonas looked slightly hurt. "Look, it'll all be fine when we find the Major," he said, knowing that his words came as a very poor apology. But he didn't care. It was true. He could apologize later, like he had said, when they found Sam.

_If they found Sam._

Sam attempted to free herself of her bonds. In a particularly flexible manoeuvre, during which she was fairly sure she had dislocated her shoulder, she pulled her arms around her body so that they were in front of her. She groaned in pain and immediately began biting the knots of the rope. After an exasperatingly long time, during which she made sure she was aware of Vel'shak's conversation with Ba'al, she freed her hands and began working on the ropes on her ankles. So far Vel'shak hadn't mentioned the Jaffa's suspicions about her and Colonel O'Neill, for which she was thoroughly thankful. Hopefully she would be able to completely free herself and kick their asses before he could let anything slip.

In fact, Sam thought that the task would not be incredibly difficult. Despite being overcome by the contingent, Sam noted to herself that they were a very unorganised group. There didn't seem to be a clear leader, and there were no rankings within the regiment at all. The camp was messy and looked as though it had been made in a hurry and clearly the Jaffa were not guarding her properly. She wondered why Ba'al had sent such an untrained group of Jaffa to capture them. How did he know they would be there in the first place? Something wasn't right.

"What was that?" Jonas yelped, pointing above Teal'c's head. He had seen a flash of something, but he didn't know what. "Did you see that?" he asked Jack.

Jack nodded. "Looked like a Pol'kar," Jack said, but gave the animal no second thought.

"Should we try to capture it?" Jonas asked.

"In case you haven't noticed, Jonas; Carter has been kidnapped. Why don't we try focusing on that before we go gallivanting through the forest looking for some damn alien!"

Teal'c stopped in his tracks and turned to face Jack. He had witnessed similar behaviour in Major Carter when they had lost O'Neill on the moon of P9X-742. He raised an eyebrow at the Colonel, who had the good grace to look sorry.

"Let's just find her, ok?" he said to Jonas, who nodded and followed his companions.

Finally free of her bonds, Sam patted herself down to see if the Jaffa had left any of her equipment on her. Her P-90 was gone, as was her radio, but her GDO was still intact and her handgun and knife had been left on her. She grinned. This would make an escape far easier. She crawled over to the wall of the tent and peered through the opening, making sure that she wouldn't bee seen. She counted four Jaffa, including the one who was standing outside her tent. She couldn't believe they hadn't looked in on her.

"Your plan seems to have proved successful, my Lord," Vel'shak said into the communication ball.

"Of course it has," boomed the patronizing voice of Ba'al. "I am a God."

"Yes, my Lord," Vel'shak responded feebly.

"The holographic animals were sure to attract their attention," Ba'al boomed. "Yet I am impressed. I did not believe you had the wit or skill to capture one of the proud warriors of the Tau'ri."

"Thank you, my Lord," Vel'shak said, uncertainly.

"Which warrior have you captured?"

"The female, my Lord."

"Very good. What have you done with her?"

"She is unconscious and in our tent, my Lord."

"Being watched by at least two of your men, I hope?"

Vel'shak stumbled. "Uh, yes, my Lord."

"_Lies!" _roared the Goa'uld. "Do you think I can not see into your soul, Vel'shak, son of Khan? Attend her at once. Interrogate her. Use force if necessary. I should never have trusted simple human slaves. Make ready, Vel'shak. Your God is coming."

_Human slaves?_ So they were not Jaffa after all. Sam wondered at their inexperience and lack of training. Perhaps they were only recently overcome by the Goa'uld. MALP telemetry of the world seemed indicated that the Goa'uld had never set foot here.

"You!" Vel'shak growled. Sam looked up, her hands secured behind her back. She smiled innocently and Vel'shak's gaze narrowed. Sam had hastily retied her ankles, loosely enough that a forceful kick could break them free.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"You don't know?" Sam asked, feigning offense. These slaves didn't seem to know anything about them.

"Lord Ba'al has told us you are an enemy of our world," he said, aiming his staff weapon.

"You have to turn it on first," Sam suggested cheekily. Vel'shak glared at her and charged the weapon.

"That's better," she said calmly.

"Who are you?" he asked, jabbing her shoulder with the staff weapon.

"Hey, watch where you're pointing that thing!" Sam said. "I'm Major Samantha Carter, United States Air force. You?"

"Vel'shak, son of Khan," he said, with pride.

"Nice name."

He glared at her again.

"So, when did Lord Ba'al come to your planet?" she asked, conversationally.

"I am asking the questions!"

"Ask away."

"Why are you here?" he demanded.

"I would have thought the all-bullshitting Ba'al would know that."

Vel'shak slapped her hard in the face. "Do not talk such blasphemy," he roared.

"Ba'al is _not_ a god."

"Why are you here?" Val'shak roared again. Sam shrugged.

"We wanted to find a Pol'kar," she said. Vel'shak laughed.

"Lord Ba'al was right. He knew you would come!"

"Ba'al knows about the Pol'kar?" she asked, hurriedly. This was not good news. If Ba'al got his hands on an animal that could appear and disappear at will, they could be in big trouble.

"Ba'al created the Pol'kar! He is a god!"

Sam rolled her eyes. Of course Ba'al would say he made them. "How did he know we would come?"

"He knows all."

"Right, Ba'al's a god, I get it," she said with a sarcastic smirk that was reminiscent of Jack O'Neill. "Wait a minute," she said, after a moment. "Were the Pol'kar here before Ba'al came to your world?"

"No. Our god created them. See for yourself." Vel'shak turned around for a second and pulled a device out of his knapsack. He pushed a button and a Pol'kar sprang to life. Vel'shak.

"Wait a minute, the Pol'kar is a hologram?"

"What is a hologram?" Vel'shak asked.

"Try and touch it with your staff weapon," Sam suggested.

"I do not take orders from prisoners," spat Vel'shak. "It is forbidden to touch the Pol'kar."

Sam rolled her eyes again. "Of course it is. Good old Ba'al wouldn't want you to know that his godly creation is actually just a picture."

"You lie!"

"No, sorry. Not a god. A Goa'uld."

"What is a Goa'uld?" Vel'shak asked, trying to wind his tongue around the word.

"Parasite," Sam answered. "Wriggles its little wormy butt into your brain and takes over your body."

Vel'shak shuddered. "That cannot be true!"

Sam nodded. "Afraid so," she said. "They go around in big honking space ships and make every person they find a slave," she said, amusing herself with her use of Jack-O'Neillisms. It seemed easier and somewhat comforting to talk to her captor this way.

"You must be lying. Ba'al is a god," Vel'shak said, but his resolve was beginning to falter.

"I'm not lying," Sam answered, more gently. "The Goa'uld have enslaved thousands for their own personal gain. But it doesn't have to be like that. I'm a part of a team called SG-1. We're explorers who travel to different worlds in the hopes of stopping the Goa'uld once and for all. We're your friends."

She could see the wheels turning in Vel'shak's head. "I do not believe you," he whispered.

"Yes you do," Sam replied. "When did he come here?"

"Two weeks ago. He said he was our God, returning from the heavens in the sky. He said he was displeased at how we lived and demanded we worship him."

"Where is he now?" Sam asked.

"I do not know. He left in a large ship and said he would return when we captured the demons."

"Are we the demons?" Sam asked.

"Yes," said Vel'shak, raising his weapon again.

"We're not demons," said Sam. "Ba'al was lying to you."

"He would not lie," said a conflicted Vel'shak. "He is a god."

"What kind of god would force you into servitude and demand that you killed for him?"

Vel'shak shook his head.

"Let me free," said Sam, kindly but strongly.

"I cannot."

"Let me free," she said again. "My people can help you."

Jack followed Teal'c and Jonas, the first of the pair now hunched behind a bush.

"What is it?" he asked.

Teal'c put his finger to his lips. Jack nodded and crouched behind him.

"There is a camp in the clearing," whispered Teal'c. He opened the bushes and Jack saw that he was correct. There were three soldiers sitting outside the tent, whittling wood and talking loudly around a fire.

"Where's the fourth?" Jack asked. Teal'c pointed to the tent. A silhouette of a man was barely visible through the off-white cloth.

"Carter?" Jack asked.

"I believe she is in the tent also," Teal'c offered and Jack nodded.

"What's the plan?" Jonas asked.

"We make a diversion. A big one," he said, looking at Teal'c. Teal'c bowed his head in agreement. "Jonas, you stay here and cover our sixes. Teal'c, you distract. I'll go in for Carter."

Jonas nodded and crept in as close to the bush as he could. Teal'c charged his staff weapon. Jack took in a deep breath. This was it.

"Holy Hannah!" Sam was caught unawares by a blast staff weapon fire outside. There was a loud commotion outside and Sam could see through the cloth that the other three men were getting ready for a battle. She smiled. SG-1 were here.

"What is going on?" Vel'shak demanded.

"My friends have come for me," she said. "Tell your men to stand down. They don't need to get hurt." She untied her ankle-bonds. Before she knew it, a staff weapon was at her throat.

"I cannot allow you to leave," Vel'shak said, his weapon shaking in his hand.

"I don't want to hurt you, Vel'shak. But I will if I have to."

"What would you have me do? Let you go free and watch as Lord Ba'al destroys my home because of what I have done?" he asked.

"We can help you, Vel'shak. We are your friends."

Vel'shak clearly looked torn. He finally began to move when Jack appeared at the entrance of the tent.

"Let her go," he growled and shot his P-90 into the air for good measure. Vel'shak stood, stunned. Jack aimed at the slave.

"Sir," Sam warned, but it was too late. Vel'shak had seen and shot back first. Luckily, his skills with a staff weapon were not good and his shot missed the Colonel by a few inches. Jack fired back, but Vel'shak had pre-empted his move and held his staff weapon against Sam's throat.

"Move and she dies," he said.

"Let her go!" Jack roared.

"Sir, go!" Sam pleaded.

"He will not leave his mate," Vel'shak spat. Sam looked up at Jack, her eyes filled with apologies and regret. They had done this to themselves.

"You're right," said Jack. "I won't. Now you can either hand her over or taste some metal!"

"Sir, don't!" Sam cried. "Vel'shak, let us go. We can come back. We can help you," she said, feeling as though she was channelling Daniel. "Just let us go. Ba'al won't know."

"He will!"

"He won't. Do you want us to help free your people or what? Because we can't help you if we're dead."

Vel'shak lowered his staff weapon a few inches and looked over at Jack, whose fierce glare seemed to concur with Sam, as well as challenge him. He looked back at his prisoner and lowered his weapon.

"Go," he said. "But be swift. Go!"

Jack hurried toward Sam and helped her up. She winced with the pain of her shoulder but let go of the Colonel as soon as she was on her feet.

"Thank you Vel'shak. We'll come back for you," she said, grasping his arm.

"Come on, Carter. We gotta go," Jack said. Sam nodded and followed her C.O out of the tent, pulling her handgun out of its sheath.

Teal'c spotted them emerge and filed in close at their rear, providing cover fire as they raced up the hill back towards Jonas who was diligently shooting his weapon from his post. Over the gun-fire they heard Vel'shak trying to reason with his team, but as Sam chanced a grateful look back at him she was hit in the leg with a poorly aimed staff blast. She cried out in pain but was caught in an instant by Teal'c, who lifted her up over his shoulder and continued to run.

The chase continued all the way to the Stargate and was only ended when Jonas hurriedly punched in the address and the IDC code and SG-1 leapt through the event horizon and back to the safety of the SGC.

* * *

_Phew. That was a close one._

_ Only two chapters to go. Please review and let me know what you thought!_


	9. Top 10 Reasons to Break a Heart

_A/N: Welcome back to Top 10. The end is almost here. Enjoy the second last chapter, which, as you may have already noticed, is quite a bit longer than those preceding it - hope you enjoy the extra reading. I fully expect extra long reviews in return!!!_

_ In all seriousness, thanks once again to all those fabulous people who have kept in touch with me as I have written this piece. Your reviews have inspired me to keep on writing! Thanks a million  
_

_Enough chat_; here it is...

* * *

George watched him watch her. The base had been mostly emptied hours ago and all that was left was a skeleton crew. There were a couple of nurses and a doctor to supervise the overnight patients, a few SFs in the control room and a security officer here and there. Jonas and Teal'c had retreated to their own quarters for a while, but they hadn't left long ago. It was just them, the little family of warriors who had come to mean so much to each other. SG-1, and of course, General Hammond, who had stayed to watch them all.

It was supposed to have been a standard reconnaissance mission. That's what Colonel O'Neill had said. But something had gone wrong out there. George hadn't had all the details yet as the debriefing was slightly rushed. All the members of SG-1 had wanted to visit their female comrade in the infirmary, so George hadn't kept them too long, knowing how anxious they all must have felt.

He looked down from the observation room at Colonel O'Neill. He hadn't moved all evening and George knew he had no intention of doing so. He knew that what ever had happened had something to do with Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter and he hoped to god that it wasn't a result of the events of the last few days. It had started off as somewhat humorous to him, but the more George thought about it, the more detrimental the last few days seemed to both the Colonel and the Major's careers. He didn't feel the need to alarm them, but Senator Kinsey had met with him in an 'informal' capacity earlier that week complaining, as usual, about the poor leadership and conduct throughout the base. The man had the audacity to bring up the Major's behaviour during the mission to find Colonel O'Neill and that perhaps it was best to start over with SG-1 and form a completely new team. They were too unreliable, he had said.

Of course, George had paid no attention, assuring Kinsey that the Major and Colonel were professional and would never allow themselves to be compromised in such a way. He hoped that he was speaking the truth. He _knew _he was speaking the truth. Regardless of how they felt about each other, George knew that both Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill were far too honour and duty bound to break the regulations. Even if they ever did, George knew that they would have been able to sort something out. They would be able to maintain a relationship outside the base while continuing their strict working relationship on base. He knew it. All they needed was the opportunity and the time to work it out properly.

The thought cut him to the quick. As a general, he knew the rule book back to front and there were some rules he just didn't agree with. In relation to any other pair of people under his command, he would have said that the fraternization rule was useful and necessary, however in the circumstance of Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter; he had come to think that this wasn't the case. They were both mature enough and dedicated enough to the program that they would be able to handle being on the same team and in a relationship at the same time. As it was now, there was always a certain tension, a wall between them, which had stopped them from supporting each other like they should be able to, both as comrades and partners. The regulations themselves had caused this small rift in the team. Surely this defeated the purpose of having them in the first place?

He supposed that that was what had happened on the mission. He cursed to himself. He should have made them stand down until they had completely resolved their issues. He knew Jack hadn't been completely truthful when he had met with him. Why hadn't he given them the time? A voice in the back of his head told George that there was nothing he could have done, that he couldn't have seen it coming, but the fact was that he had been waiting for this sort of thing to happen for a while now. The last thing Earth needed was for the Goa'uld to realize that their first line of defense had an Achilles' heel in its leader's weakness for his 2IC.

He shook himself off and continued to watch Jack. He didn't know for sure that she had been targeted for that reason, but the evidence so far had seemed to suggest it. According to what he had been able to get out of SG-1, Sam and Jack had been sitting alone in the camp talking, while Jonas and Teal'c had slept. It was not long after that event that Sam had been targeted by Ba'al's Jaffa. He hadn't asked for details of the conversation between the Colonel and the Major out of respect for Jack's privacy and anxiety, but he was sure he could guess. They must have still been trying to figure out what to do with themselves and each other. The Jaffa had obviously taken it to mean that they were mates and that the one way they could destroy SG-1 was to destroy the heart of its leader. It was a good plan. But it wouldn't have worked. If left with an ultimatum, Jack would have left her behind, as he knew he must. The thought saddened George even more. It was proof that they could work this thing out properly. If Jack could leave Sam behind when she was being tortured, in order to save the world then it seemed obvious enough that the pair weren't about to let a relationship in the way of the job. Sure, it would mean a lot of strain in their home life, but George knew that Jack and Sam were up for the challenge.

But what could he do? It was against regulations, after all.

With a sigh, he noticed that the Major was stirring. He watched as Jack rushed to her side to be with her as she woke up.

* * *

"Hey Carter."

"Sir?" Sam asked, her voice husky from sedation. "What happened?"

"Frasier sedated you while she cleaned up that staff wound. You've been sleeping it off."

"Oh," Sam replied, groggily. "Right." She looked up at her C.O, her eyes glazed and watery. He held her gaze and covered her hand with his.

"Listen, Carter…Sam," Jack corrected confusedly, trying and failing to find the appropriate words.

"Carter," Sam redirected. "I know, sir. We need to talk."

From his post in the observation room, George saw Jack turn around to the nurses and dismiss them. Knowing that they wanted some privacy to sort themselves out, he took his leave and headed back to his office. They needed some time alone together. He wasn't worried. He knew they would make the right decision.

"Sir, what happened out there today was…"

"A complete fiasco," Jack concluded. Sam nodded, guiltily.

"They were waiting for you to come. They used me as bait," she said.

"I know," Jack answered. "But we got away. Thanks to you, mostly."

"That doesn't matter, sir. If there had been more of them or if…"

"Or if they were actually trained…"

"Yes sir, if they were actually trained, we could have been in trouble back there," she finished. She looked at Jack with a dull fear in her eyes and Jack suddenly realized why she was so upset.

"Carter, I wouldn't have left you behind."

"Exactly, sir. That's the problem."

Jack narrowed his gaze. "Carter, despite what I do or don't feel for you, you're a member of this team. I would do the same for Teal'c or Jonas. You know that."

"I know, sir. But what if they know now. What if Ba'al knows?"

"Did the Jaffa tell him?" he asked.

"Not Jaffa, sir. Human slaves. And I'm not sure. The one that interrogated me didn't, but there were still three others."

Jack said nothing. He wasn't all together sure if this would be a new drawback or not. When he was in the clutches of Ba'al, he thought he could remember calling for her. Ba'al had taunted him and tortured him when he did. But his memories of the incident were so hazy, he wasn't sure whether it had really happened or it was one of the many nightmares that had plagued him in the aftermath. It was likely that Ba'al already knew.

"Sir?" Sam asked, noticing her C.O's far away look.

"I don't think it's going to be a problem, Carter," he said, but Sam did not relax.

"Sir, as long as this stays unresolved, this will always be a problem."

Jack's spirits dropped. He knew she was speaking the truth.

"What do you suggest, Carter?" he asked, more bitterly than he had meant to.

"I don't know, sir. We could…lobby for the regs to be overlooked," she said optimistically, but Jack knew by the look on her face that she was just humoring him.

"And what happens when they say no? They'll just leave us on the same team and pretend we hadn't said anything?" he asked, harshly. "Carter, the minute we officialize this, we're out."

"I know, sir," she answered. "I could transfer."

"No you couldn't. This base needs you. Hell, you're the only one that actually understands the dialing computer."

"I could be employed in a consultant capacity," she suggested.

Jack shook his head once again. "You're too good a soldier. SG-1 needs both a scientist and a warrior on the front lines."

Sam frowned. She was humble by nature but she knew that there was not another person in the program or out that was both as smart as she was and in the air force.

"I'll retire," said Jack, breaking the silence.

"No," was all that Sam said.

"Carter, SG-1 needs your brains but they sure as hell don't need me."

"Don't you even dare," Sam shot, and Jack was surprised at the fierce glare that appeared on her face. "You're just as important to SG-1 as I am, don't even try to pretend you're not."

"Carter, you don't need me. All I do is offend officials and complain about my knees."

Sam's glare didn't soften. "Why do you always do this? Would it kill you to accept the fact that you're needed around here? You are what makes SG-1 a team, sir. Whether you choose to believe it or not, you're important. You're damn good at what you do and the team wouldn't exist without you."

"That's what we thought about Daniel, Carter; and in case you haven't noticed, Jonas is filling the gap fine!" he shot back, bitterly.

"Only because he's had the rest of us, sir. We're a team! If SG-1 gets reassigned with a different leader it won't work. We'll end up with someone like Makepeace who doesn't understand that a Major's suggestion are sometimes better than a Colonel's, or someone who'll be continuously pissed off with Teal'c and Jonas would just get reassigned. Don't you get it? We're Earth's best chance. Without you we're nothing!"

She was almost in tears. Jack leaned back from her.

"Some choice," Jack said simply. Sam nodded.

"If we leave, Earth falls, if we stay…"

"We go back to before," said Jack, soothingly.

"No we don't," Sam argued softly. "I can't. Not after this."

"So, what?"

"I couldn't control how I felt before all this happened. I certainly can't control it now."

"So…what?" Jack asked again.

"I don't know," Sam said and dissolved into silence again.

Jack looked around the infirmary, as though the cabinets of syringes would find an idea for him. What were they going to do? He knew what Sam had meant; it had taken a long time to erect the walls that had shut Sam out of his personal life. Now that they were broken, he didn't think he could build them again. At least not without completely destroying his friendship with Sam or their comradeship in the team, which once again, would completely defeat the purpose of distancing himself in the first place. Some Catch-22. There had to be another way of making sure she was out of bounds.

"Date someone," he said, without even realizing it our come out of his mouth.

"What?" asked Sam, sounding slightly offended.

"Meet someone new," Jack said, his confidence in this idea growing. "Be happy with someone else. Then we won't need each other any more." He thought of how life had been on Edora with Laira. His need for his friends, for the SGC and for Sam had dissipated into a dull ache while he had been with her. Maybe if Sam found someone knew, she would learn to live without him like he had all those years ago. She might even be happy.

"I don't know any one," said Sam uncomfortably, but Jack could tell that she was giving the idea some credit.

"Ask Janet; she's got a lot of friends. Or even your brother. Mark knows a whole pool of different people, right?" he asked, optimistically.

"Right," Sam agreed. She couldn't believe she was actually considering this. "What about you? You don't have any friends either." She immediately regretted what she had said, but Jack chuckled. "It's true," she said lamely. "We never see anyone but each other."

"I'll be fine, Carter," Jack replied. It was enough that Sam would date someone else. He didn't need to join in. It would feel too staged. "I've already had two loves of my life. I don't even want to try for a third."

Sam looked into his eyes, tears threatening to fall down her face. First Sara, and now…her. She'd never been in the position of calling someone the love her life, but she knew right then and there that she was losing hers.

"It's not fair," she whispered, more to herself than to Jack.

"I know," he said. But there was no alternative.

"Well, I suppose it's resolved then," she said, after another small moment of silence.

"I suppose it is, Major."

"Right," she nodded. "Goodbye Jack," Sam said with finality, his given name sounding sweet on her lips. He nodded. She was saying goodbye to the man beneath the uniform. Jack watched as a tear freefell down her face. It seemed so final. Despite the regulations, there had always been some hope before. A childish, fantasy-induced hope, but hope nonetheless. They were saying goodbye to that shred of hope. To the ties which had bound them together for the last six years.

"Goodbye Sam," he said, but couldn't bring himself to walk out of the infirmary. His muscles felt heavy and his feet felt awkward in his boots. Sam looked pale and defeated and he wanted nothing more than to hold her. It was probably the last time he would ever be able to.

"C'mere," he said and folded his arms around her. His knees started to give way from the pressure of lunging down to her, so he sat on the side of her bed. He was able to hug her closer now and tried to brush off the thought that he would eventually have to let go at some point.

Sam lifted her head, and Jack, thinking she would say the very thing he just thought, did the first thing to stop her that came to his mind. He kissed her.

He felt her surprise at once as she tensed in her arms, but after a second she was kissing him back. He had never felt as close to her as he was now, one arm in her hair and the other around her back. They had kissed before, but it was nothing like this. The first time, she had thrown herself upon him, and as the report had stated, was under alien influence. He had been startled, even alarmed with her behaviour, but still turned on as all hell. It had felt wrong, though, and after his second such encounter with Carter, he knew it to because of the fact that she was not quite herself. The second time he had kissed her, he had kissed another Carter, which had been awkward and unpleasant. He had felt pity for Dr Carter and for himself, and guilt when he realized that he had ulterior motives.

Neither of those instances were anything like this. Carter was Carter, he was himself and there was no alien reason for them to be kissing. He was kissing her because he loved her, not because she had forced herself upon him, not because she was grieving, not because she was sick, or crazy or not even herself to begin with. He tried to commit every sense of her to memory, so that he would remember how different it was to kiss her properly, seeing as he would never get the chance again. He internally documented how she felt, how she looked, how she smelt, how she tasted…

Even though she smelt clinically clean and like the disinfectant of the infirmary, he could smell the warm, spicy something that was Sam. He thought briefly with a buzz that shot down his spine that she wasn't even wearing perfume.

"Jack," he heard her moan, and deepened the kiss. They could have been there for a minute or a lifetime and he wouldn't have known the difference.

"Jack," she said again, and Jack realized she was trying to stop him. He edged back at once and looked at her, thoughts of what they were actually doing returning to him.

"That's not helping," she said, though her voice was still low and husky, her lips swollen and pink from the blood-rush. Jack cleared his throat. What he wouldn't give for a cold shower right now.

"Right," he said, awkwardly and stood back on his own two feet. "Bye Sam," he said again and this time his feet walked for him. He was almost at the door when he realized she had said nothing back. He turned around and looked at her. She was biting her lip, as though trying and failing to make the 'B' sound come out of her mouth.

"Bye Jack," she whispered.

* * *

General Hammond fidgeted impatiently. Had they finished yet? Had they flushed their happiness down the figurative latrine that was the armed forces? He shook his head. There as no point in wondering. He knew what they would have chosen.

He picked up the two pieces of paper on his desk. He had been studying them while he waited for Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill to brief him on their decision. These two lists had started all this trouble. Despite the humour and the contempt in the lists respectively, there was pure, genuine feeling etched in those words. He sighed and wondered whether they knew exactly what they were giving up.

He wished he could do something. He knew they would never let him, but he couldn't help but feel partly responsible. It was he who had put them on the same team. He who had not warned either of them when he had begun to see the signs. He who had let it get this far, all because he was sure nothing would come of it, because he wanted them to have some small happiness.

And now it would be over, thanks to the regulations. He couldn't bend the rules for them; he was the Commanding Officer of this base and if he was seen to be giving them special treatment he was in danger of losing all respect from the other officers. _He _couldn't bend the rules. But he did know of someone who could…

He picked up the two lists again, looking excitedly from one to the other. Yes, this was the answer. The man had always said that he owed Jack O'Neill a favour, after all. He opened his laptop and typed eagerly.

_Dear Mr President,_

_Top 10 Reasons why Major Samantha Carter and Colonel Jack O'Neill should be exempt from the fraternization regulations._

-x--x--x-

* * *

A/N: The last George-centred scene was not originally written into this story. Sam and Jack's conversation was to be the last chapter, suggesting that life went on as usual after that; that Jack had actually suggested that Sam go out with Pete in the first place. But, seeing as this whole story started as a fluff-fiction, I thought it was only fitting to end it in the same fashion. Ship ahoy!!!

Please review. Just think; I might even reach 100! what a milestone!

Have a superb day and a great weekend,

Bekki


	10. Top 10 Reasons for a happy ending

A/N: Firstly, you may note that George's list is not present in this chapter. Never fear, I have every intention of posting it! It will become the first chapter of "Top 10: Unleashed", the pseudo-sequel to "Top 10" which will fill in the gaps between Chapters 9 and 10, and will also introduce some other characters' takes on Top 10 Lists, including "Jack's Top 10 Ways of Getting Out of a Briefing" and "Daniel's Top 10 Methods of Dying". Look out for "Top 10: Unleashed", coming to a computer near you!

Finally, we reach the end of Top 10. A special thanks to everyone who has faithfully reviewed each chapter from the beginning, to those who have 'favourited' Top 10 and to all who have taken the time to read any and/or all of this story. This chapter is dedicated to SammieAtHome, Janissima, Mara-anni and Scarlet Twitch0. Without you, this story would have remained a storyless romp in random humour. Thank you.

* * *

_Six months later…_

Jack stood nervously in front of the crowd, fidgeting with the cuffs of his dress uniform. He squinted as he looked into the sky. Thank goodness it wasn't raining. He had immediately said no when Sam had suggested starting it in the park next to the military chapel. His last experience had told him that the weather was never kind, especially when you wanted it to be. He had hoped they could use the gate room, but Sam had wanted her family there, so the idea was quickly vetoed.

With another squint to the sky, Jack had to agree with Sam. It was a lot nicer out in the open air, rather than 28 levels below the ground. Where was she? It wasn't like his second-in-command to keep him waiting. Daniel gave him a fierce look to make him stop fidgeting, and being strangely reminded of his mother, Jack stopped and looked at his feet.

He couldn't believe Daniel was here. He had never thought he'd see him again properly, let alone have him here today. He had spent over a month procrastinating over his best man. Teal'c was the obvious choice but Jack had delayed, hoping beyond reason that Daniel would be here. He knew that Teal'c understood. Jack had after all, been somewhat of a best man at Daniel's own wedding.

When he had descended, Daniel had been overwhelmed at the news that Sam and Jack were getting married. Jack was sure the ascended version had known; he had felt his presence more than once, but with his memories of his time in the cosmos gone, Daniel hadn't remembered. Regardless, the younger man was ecstatic to say the least, and seemed so excited about the wedding that Jack had begun referring to him as a chipmunk.

The pastor ushered the guests into the chapel, ready to begin the bridal procession. The guests seated themselves and Jack and his groomsmen positioned themselves at the altar. Jack looked down the line of men at his right, receiving an encouraging nod from Teal'c and a grin from Jonas. Teal'c was wearing a fedora hat, whose ribbon matched Jack's tie. Jonas looked even more excited than Daniel, but Jack supposed that it was because he was witnessing his first traditional Earth wedding. Apparently the experience was very exciting for the Kelownan. In any other case, Jack wouldn't have been the least bit interested. Wedding ceremonies were ranked quite highly in his 'Top 10 Places I Don't Want to Be' list, under Netu, of course. This wedding, on the other hand, was far from dull. Firstly, almost half the special party were aliens, with Teal'c, Jonas, Selmak and Cassie in attendance. The assembly of guests was littered with aliens; delegates from the Land of Light and Orban, as well as Togar and presumably Urgo from P4X-884. Carefully concealed in the crowd were Lya of the Nox and Thor of the Asgard. Though reluctant to extend an invitation to their political allies at first, Jack had welcomed them to the ceremony, particularly pleased that Thor had made the journey. The Asgard was carefully concealed between George Hammond and Togar, and was dressed in a small black suit. He, like Teal'c, wore a hat on his head, though his was wider and did more to conceal his features.

However, this paled in comparison with Jack's other reason for excitement. Six months ago he would have thought seeing all these aliens on Earth would be far more likely than the ceremony they were here to witness. He couldn't believe it when General Hammond had called him and Sam into his office to tell them that his secret proposal to the White House had been accepted. At first, Jack had wondered whether George was playing a sick joke on him. It took a long time for him to grasp the fact that he and Sam were off the hook. The fact that George had managed to convince the President that the regs should be dropped was nothing short of a miracle, not to mention the thought that George had wanted to do so in the first place. It had been bewildering, not to mention overwhelming when Hammond had given them the news.

It hadn't been the easiest thing in the world, however. Letting each other go, as they had after the 'Top 10' incident had been very difficult, and though they had tried to prevent it, their relationship had suffered. Being together was not as simple as pushing the rewind button and forgetting that they had ever said goodbye. Sam had been seeing someone and had found it hard and unfair to ditch him for a better offer. Even after they were both single, it took a great deal of effort to take the first step. Eventually, after a call from _Daniel; Version 2.0_, Jack had found himself at her house with a ring and a pizza. The rest was history.

It was possibly one of the shortest courtships in existence. Jack and Sam had no doubts about where they wanted their relationship to go, and both felt that a drawn out affair was not in SG-1's best interests. Jack had gone to her that first night with a ring in his hand, and though she hadn't worn it for close on a month, it was clear that she did and always had intended on marrying him.

_Which, of course, would be fine if she were actually here, _Jack thought with a silent grumble. He looked worriedly at Daniel again, who opened his mouth to berate his friend. He stopped mid-breath and smiled, looking over Jack's turned shoulder. Hearing the excited twittering of women in the assembly, he turned and was graced with the iridescent smile of his bride; his Sam.

She walked down the aisle in front of Cassie and Janet, a small bouquet in her hands. Her dress was pale blue, in honour of Jack's disdain for clichés, although Jacob had been disappointed that his little girl was not to be married in white. Jacob stood and took his daughter's hand. He could feel her fingers shaking in his palm and squeezed her hand as he walked her towards her husband-to-be.

_She looks beautiful, _Selmak crooned in his head and Jacob had to smile in agreement. He let go of her hand, which was quickly covered by Jack's and Jacob felt both a sense of happiness and loss at the gesture.

_She will be happy, _Selmak reminded him. _O'Neill is a good man._

_I know,_ Jacob answered his companion. Selmak briefly showed Jacob their memory of Jack's visit to the Tok'ra, during which he had asked Jacob for his daughter's hand. Selmak liked to tease him with this memory. Jacob had been haughty and reluctant, but had eventually given Jack his blessing.

_Do you still believe O'Neill to be unworthy of her?_ Selmak asked, playfully, but also quite seriously.

_Look at them,_ Jacob answered, looking at the absolute joy in his daughter's eyes. _I couldn't hope for better. _

Sam smiled and nodded to her dad, who took a seat next to Mark in the front row. She swept her eyes back up to Jack and grinned sheepishly as his eyes wandered freely over her face and her dress. A light blush wove its way through her cheeks and Jack smiled. Together they turned to the pastor to be wed.

The pastor spoke of God and of love, but Jack could not force his attention away from his bride to listen. He had to admit to himself that although she looked radiant with beauty, he had seen her look just as beautiful many times before. He had always thought she as most stunning in the heat of battle, with sweat at her brow and fierce passion in her eyes, but he rarely saw this different sort of passion in her bright blues. This was a happy passion, clearly and unashamedly directed at him and he was only just becoming familiar with it. The last time he had seen her look like this was at his cabin in Minnesota the weekend before. She had been beautiful then and was radiating that same joyful beauty today.

"I now invite Daniel Jackson to speak for his friends," the pastor said, bringing Jack out of his reverie. He felt Sam squeeze his hands, and with a lopsided smile he listened as Daniel recited a poem he had heard of before. He had long since decided not to write his own vows for this wedding, but to use the traditional Western Tau'ri vows, in honour of their interplanetary guests. In the early days of his and Sam's engagement, he had spent days trying to find the right words. Somehow, this poem had flittered its way into his office, something he was sure could be blamed on _Daniel; Version 2.0. _Now that he heard his friend reciting it, he knew that it was he who had sent it in the first place.

"Let us melt, and make no noise,  
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;  
'Twere profanation of our joys  
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ;  
Men reckon what it did, and meant ;  
But trepidation of the spheres,  
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love  
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit  
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove  
The thing which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined,  
That ourselves know not what it is,  
Inter-assurèd of the mind,  
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,  
If we must part, endure not yet  
A breach, but an expansion,  
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so  
As stiff twin compasses are two ;  
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show  
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,  
Yet, when the other far doth roam,  
It leans, and hearkens after it,  
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,  
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;  
Thy firmness makes my circle just,  
And makes me end where I begun."

Jack didn't really understand it, but he knew the general gist of the poem. It was a poem about death, though with the slight changes Daniel had made to it, it was a poem about the promises Jack and Sam were making. Promises that, even though they could die any day, be ordered to leave each other behind, or heaven forbid, to kill each other, would bind them to one another, soul to soul.

Daniel finished and took a step back. Jack gave him a thankful look which Daniel heartily returned. Jack could see that Teal'c's head was bowed in reverence, though Jack thought it was because the Jaffa was still trying to make sense of Daniel's gibberish poem. Jonas, ever the linguist, was almost crying into his sleeve. He of course, like Daniel, understood every metaphor in the poem and thought it was equally as beautiful.

It was then Sam and Jack's turn to recite their vows. They did so quickly and succinctly, and from his piu, George Hammond cocked an eyebrow in concern. The pair looked as though they were going through the motions. He had been overwhelmingly surprised when Jack had agreed to George's suggestion of holding a traditional wedding. The suggestion had come from the President, and was a means of the political advancement of Earth. The President had 'asked' that Earth's political allies be invited to the wedding and George thought it little more than a political stunt. However, as the President had overlooked the regulations banning such a wedding in the first place, George thought he should at least pass the suggestion on to Sam and Jack, though he was sure they would want no part in it. He was very surprised then, to hear that Sam and Jack found the idea to be fitting and had co-ordinated the ceremony accordingly. He sighed as he listened to them recite their vows and hoped sincerely that he hadn't ruined their special day.

Finally, Sam and Jack signed their marriage licences and stood together as man and wife.

"You may now kiss he bride," the pastor said and Sam grinned at Jack as he slid his hand around the small of her back.

"I guess not _all _clichés are bad," he whispered to her, and dipped her as he kissed her. They could hear the wolf-whistling of SG-3 and the excited applause of their guests. Sam broke contact with Jack's lips for a second to giggle at the look on her father's face and returned Jack's kiss with eagerness and fervour, running her hand through his hair.

* * *

"Jack," George called through the crowded reception room. "Sam," he greeted as the newly married couple turned to him. "It was a lovely ceremony. Thank you for all you've done to adhere to the President's wishes. You're country appreciates the effort you've made. I know you don't have a great love of politics, but this ceremony was important to our relationship with our allies, so thank you. I'm sorry if you're wedding wasn't what you had planned."Sam caught Jack's eye and grinned sheepishly. "About that, sir," Sam started warily. You know how SG-1 has been on down time to prepare for the ceremony," she asked. George nodded. "Well, we…that is, SG-1 decided to have one last team night, sir." 

"A nice idea," George answered uncertainly. Where was this going?

"Yes sir. Well, we drove to Minnesota for the weekend, sir…and…"

Sam looked to Jack for help. He rolled his eyes and looked pointedly at his C.O

"We got married three days ago, sir," he said.

George could only laugh.

_fin_


End file.
